This semester was by and far my hardest one I have ever encountered in all my years of schooling. I had a heavy, full course load. I had to take a senior level capstone which required a twenty-page research paper at the end. Along with my school requirements, I was working twice a week. Any free time I had was devoted to school life. I was constantly doing homework. Even with all the work I did, about halfway through the semester I realized that getting a 4.0 this semester was not going to happen. This stopped me dead in my tracks. Anyone who knows me knows that I am a 4.0 student. I only get straight A’s. But not this time. Some of my classes, I did struggle with. I had to put forth a lot of effort to write multiple papers at one time. If I wasn’t working on a paper or two, I was doing an essay exam. I was busy with school and let my world revolve around it. Something happened a month ago that made me pause and question my 4.0 GPA.
It was in my daily quiet time that I heard the quiet voice of the Lord ask me, where is your worth? I have always placed a heavy amount of my worth in my school work. I am a good student and like being one. Being a 4.0 student had became an integral part of my identity, and it shouldn’t have. Why? Because my identity should be in Christ and Christ alone.
See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that is did not know him. 1 John 3:1
I am a child of God first. This revelation hit me hard this semester, and I did struggle with accepting that. I had to let go of and completely strip myself of my identity of being a student. Now, I am not saying being a student isn’t important because it is. What’s more important is that I put God first and know that I am His first. When I look to eternity, being a student isn’t going to save me. There is only one thing that can. That person is Jesus.
If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. Romans 10:9
I have learned to trust the Lord more than ever after having this revelation. I know that I will still work hard as a student, but I will work harder to keep my faith in Him and Him alone. I write this post not knowing what my final grades are for the semester, and I am okay with this because:
The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps. Proverbs 16:9.
He is always there directing my steps. He is always with me. I also have had to learn to trust God, even when it seems that my plans are better. I like being in control and letting go of the reigns is still something I struggle with, but I am getting better at doing it. Whenever I doubt that His plan is good, I try to remember this verse (below), especially since I am a type A planner.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6.
If I trust in Him, I will have my steps directed and my path made straight. It is wonderful to know that He is in control. As I wrap up, I challenge anyone who reads this to question, where is your identity? I am still a sinner and need God’s grace daily, but I have learned that if I put all of my hope and trust in Him that I will make through whatever life throws my way.